Well, Im alive feeling a bit better then yesterday. Need to stop drinking, I figure its time to start feeling at least a little bit. My husband would not have wanted me to be unhappy. He always said the thing he loved about me the most was my smile. I sure miss him turning the hot water off on me when I am taking a shower in the morning. I use to get so mad at him, and now I wish he would do it. No more water gun fights in the house. I miss all the littel things so much. Drinking coffee in the morning, just stupid shit, but all the stupid shit i loved. Watching a movie together and him laughing at me when I jumped because the movie scared me, or trying to wipe the tears away when I was watching a tear jearker so he wouldn'y notice what a sap I was, But I knew he already knew that about me.Tomorrow is my first day back to work. I am scared to death to see how much work has piled up since I have been gone. Hopefully enough to keep mt thoughts on work. Things that I can normally do in minutes have been taking me hours to do. Hope I get over tha quickly or I will be without a job as well.