Its December 20th, I seem to be missing days. I had to go pick up my husbands ashes today. I had purchased at the time of the funeral arrangements a necklace that holds some of the ashes. Its beautiful, something I know my husband would have liked me to have, but sort of creeps me out at the same time. I have a box downstairs with his ashes in it. His wish was to be scattered in Hawaii, but it will be months before I will be able to return there. Where do I put them??? I don't want to put him in a closet, but I can't stand to look at them just sitting there. I'm scared to be in my house alone. Normally I keep the house pretty dim to save on electricity and because bright lights hurt my eyes. I have every light in the house on. Thank God I have been at least sleeping well with help from my doctor and the medication he prescribed. At first the phones were ringing off the hook, now nothing, everyone else has gone back to their comfortable lives just as I am expected to do in another week. I know work will be good for me, its the coming home to an empty house that haunts me.