i woke up today with no desire nor motivation. I took a look in the mirror and hated everything i saw. I'm completely disgusted with myself , so much that i can't bear to leave the house b/c i don't want other people to see how pathetic I am. I have to eat when im not hungry just so i don't get sick.  Never awake , and Never asleep. I hate everything. This all seems so stupid and pointless to me. I feel like i have no friends even though I know I do. I have so many things I should be doing but i cant and i dont give a fuck either. I cut myself today , just to feel the comfort of blood running down my skin. It seems to make me feel better. i wish it would all spill out.  I'd donate all 6 quarts with a drip pan under my wrist. I feel condemned and excommunicated anyhow. It takes two to brick me in. I feel filled with hate and Love , Devoid. Human beings make me sick. Social Acceptance makes me gag. Marriage is a false hope for a self esteem boost , why stay when you don't give a fuck and you'll probably cheat anyway. After all , we're whores as a species.