Well Nathan left for his Aunt last night. The poor guy didn't want to leave or admit that I was having a terrible effect on him. He begged my Dad to stay, particularly with me. Had to sit down and explain this to him in a very tearful manner that I didn't want him to suffer the same fate as I did.Ever since our Mom died around 2 years now, Nathan has never settled down. In fact shortly after that I started showing early signs of inclination to depression. Signs that I never should have shown to someone who is already suffering from loss or grief. So it never helped him to recover since at the point he would be looking towards me for comfort. Something I could never have given him. Things got worst when I was diagnosed with depression. He started getting less attention from his Dad for obvious reasons and he was basically left on his own. Now recently he has been suffering from Night Terror. Whenever I called that word I want to throw up. Mainly because I'm responsible for stressing him out. My Dad begged my Aunt countless times over the phone to take me. However she repeatedly declined until I made a suggestion to her, that she should take Nathan instead. Nathan of course doesn't know that I am the one who suggested that he stayed with her. My Dad took the responsibility.Thinking back I'm sorta glad that I had cut my hair, although it was painful as hell. Maybe if I didn't I wouldn't be able to make this choice. I'm not quite sure why my wanted Nathan instead of me. Oh well as my therapist would say, avoid the inclination of putting too much meaning into something. So it's just going to be me my Dad and the dogs.
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He is lucky to have a older sissy who loves him so much. I can tell you I feel nothing from my older brother even tho I still love him. I think over time he is going to see this, if he doesn\'t already and really thank you for all you do for him. I think it is a good idea for him to take a break and go live with your aunty for a while, I really do. He will be fine, and you can call him everyday, I bet he would like that! Let your Dad take the responsibility hun.
HUGS
Well I called him this morning and he told me that he couldn\'t sleep lastnight since he spent the entire night and morning thinking of me. Had to remind him that I\'ll be just fine despite a few setbacks. Told him that he should try and focus on relaxing since he too also needs help with his Night Terror. I pray that he will get through this.