bail

So he turns himself in while with his attorney and bail bondsman so he is immediately let out on bail. Someone posted 10,000 cash for him.  Then I find out this process will take about a year and a half.  I can't do this life for another year and a half.  Can you imagine?  The Hollow Woman.  I'm a shell, a ghost of my former self.  The last two days I've become dark and distant.  I'm fake again.  My thoughts are hopeless and I feel very empty.  I felt that once I got to this place I would feel so happy and relieved, instead I feel deep sorrow.  I guess because no matter what happens in court, I'm still me, my daughter is still her.  It all still happened.  Justice being served doesn't undo anything that was done and perhaps I thought it would somehow.  Something is wrong with me.  Why did this happen to me and my child?  I was so vigilant.  He was so beautiful outside and in, but had this ugliness to him that was too strong to resist and now that it has shown itself to be the true him, I'm .......struggling and ......a million other things.  When the mud slinging begins I am stabbed over and over again.  ...........................