for a week or two now all I've felt like doing is crying.  I just want to sit alone somewhere and cry my heart out.  I'm so emotionally tired.  Friday I called the special investigator from the DA's office, that takes several attempts remember because he sends me straight to voicemail.  I play this stupid game of calling from different numbers hoping he'll pick up one of them.  Friday he did and asked me the same questions that the detective asked.  I can't help but wonder why he didn't ask me those questions weeks ago when he first told me I had to answer some more questions and had to talk to the detective from the police department?  Remember I finally got in touch with that guy and did answer his most stupid questions as it was all on tape with the DA anyway.  So here I go, calling the DA's office to get an updated status and he apparently didn't get my answers because in the end he asked me the same questions.  I don't get it.  When I called weeks ago to get status he told me to get with the other one to answer questions and then last Friday ended up asking me himself.  why can't we save time and have him just ask me in the first place?  I firmly believe that the DA's office are full of mentally challenged people.  He did tell me closing arguments start on Monday for the DA's current case and then she should be filing charges for mine.  yeah right.  I'll believe it when i see it, but can't help but have hope.  I'm so tired.  I'm snapping all the time at my kids and being a full time PMSing mother instead of that happening once a month it's now all month long it seems and that's not fair to them.  See, I'm really not the great mother you all think I am.  I'm rewriting or editing that part in my book where I talk about being a failure, maybe this is all from that.  I don't know.  I just know that I take a lot of xanax lately.  Thanks for listening.