My children have decided to leave. They've decided to go live with their biological father who has promised that the life he will provide will be so much better than the one I have provided. My daughter wants to forget what has happened to her and my son wants something more stable. He too loved my husband and has been severly traumatized by what has happened with his sister. they both now want to escape. They want to forget and start over. I have so many feelings on this subject. 1. My x husband is a very sick twisted man whom I have no doubt has been waiting all this time for something like this to happen so he could step in and take them. 2. My heart says, "Why didn't she just go then and let me stay in ignorant bliss with my husband and never tear me up the way this has if she was just going to leave anyway. 3. My x husband is so sick and I wonder why the kids have suddenly forgotten all the sick twisted fucked up shit he did to them when they were children. (they spent summers with their dad even though I fought in court, I lost and he did some scary shit back then) I fear what he will start doing again once he knows he has them. My x is a sociopath and honestly feels the ends justifies the means. This I know is to devastate me for our divorce 11 years ago and me landing on my feet without him. Something he has always resented and hated me for. 4. How could my children possibly do this to me after what I've suffered through and sacrificed and done for them. How could they drop me like this when all I've ever done is live my life for them. I've given them everything and both monetarial things and my time and this is how it ends up. I can't believe this is happening. I just can't. This betrayal is way worse than my child molesting husband but at the same time I understand and can't really blame them. this was the man that I loved so much and adored and he took my daugther's everything. Now she wants a new life. I think what DS has given me, the devil has just taken away. I think I've just died.
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I am so sorry to hear that... = ( I don\'t think there is anything I could possibly say to make your situation better, but I\'m sending a huge *virtual hug* your way, and I hope that things will change for the better...
These are kids...kids change their minds. THIS is what they say today but when things calm down a bit...it could well change. Have faith my friend. Yes the last few months have been difficult for all of you but it will settle into a more comfortable place. Six months is a long time....validate their current feelings but withhold judgments. Find out where is sudden decision is coming from. Lastly, if this guys a sociopath...then regardless of what they WANT you can\'t let it happen....I\'m sorry you\'re in such a tough spot and yes, it\'s very hurtful. Hang in there....this too shall pass
**big hugz**
I know there is nothing i can say that will change things right now. i wish things like this didn\'t happen. i\'m so sorry.
What i can offer is a little insight maybe? When i was a child i grew up in an abusive environment, it was all i knew. It was \'normal\' to me. My memory of my childhood is very blurry. I don\'t remember a lot of what happened to me, even though it effects me. When i moved out of this abusive place i realized that it was not normal. now i am more aware of abusive ppl. I constantly look for the signs. If your kids are getting help for what they went through, they will start to recognize your ex-husband\'s sick mentality. Hopefully they will be able to come back to you. Just try and be open to them, and love them as you always have. Maybe talk to a therapist yourself to help you get through this?
these things take time, but they will change.
My heart is aching for you right now...
i am so sorry to hear this .....:0(
I am sorry as well for the ache I know you are feeling inside. I am reminded of a friend who\'s sons moved in with their dad, who did drugs. I read that kids will go the abuser rather than the person who is safe and love them because they need to get that love from the actual abuser and will work hard to get that love. I did that as well. Those that loved me were easy, I worked at being loved by those that abused me and did that in my adult life. Wonder if that is what is going on with your children. And I would think after a while they will be back if they are aware truly of the dysfunctional dad that they will be living with.