39 weeks and the world stopped moving
3 weeks ago I gave birth to a beautiful sleeping baby boy, Luca Antoine . I was 39weeks 4 days pregnant and had a by the book, perfect pregnancy.
After not feeling Luca move one morning I called the hospital. They told me to go do some stairs and wake him up. I climbed, did squats And knee highs....no movement. I went to the hospital with my husband and after the nurse couldn't find a heartbeat she called in the doctor. The moment he said "I'm so sorry, there is no heartbeat" my world came crashing down. I was induced that evening and after 30 hours of Labour Luca was born sleeping. His umbilicle cord was wrapped around his neck twice his arm once and his torso once. His cord was 2.5 times longer then a "normal" cord. I was told that ultrasound scans cannot see the umbilicle cord because it doesn't make a shadow.
My world stopped that day. The last 3 weeks have felt like years. I feel guilty because I do have good days where I smile. I also have days where I feel like I can't get out of bed and just want to cry.
This is the first time I am using an online support group. I just want to know I'm not alone and I feel a little better when I can talk about Luca and how I'm feeling.
I wish this loss and feeling on nobody and I hate that all of you have had to go through this as well.
Replies
I am so very sorry you lost your sweet son Luca. This pain is just so unbearable. We lost our sweet son Julian nearly 5 weeks ago and it still hurts so bad. For me it feels like it just happened. I don't have any great advice but it has helped me to talk to a grief counselor every week, to journal, and to get outside and walk as best as you can (I'm still healing so I have to take it easy). Let me know if you ever want to talk on the phone or through email. I've been told by my counselor that it will get easier, but you will always feel the grief of losing your son. Sending love and support <3
Hello sadmommyashley
I am so extremely sorry for the loss of your sweet Julian. I wish this pain and grief on nobody! How are you doing these days. I'm sorry that I didn't reply earlier i hadent seen your comment until today...
I get out as much as I Can, I work in the family business so I have slowly been getting back into work. Which for me helps take my mind off things a little bit.
Talking on the phone would be great but I think emailing would be easier seeing as I live in Switzerland. Please let me know if you're still interested to keep in contact.
Send love and strength xo