I normally don’t do these kind of things….came upon this site accidentally …not sure what to say....todays hasnt been good , its been sort of that way for awhile...not becasue of my NF....been dealing with that 4 ever...Mostly because the recent death of my youngest brother….cant stop thinking about him...I need to stop now....
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called in tonight....have not been feeling well ..I have a nasty cold....think I might to go see a doctor soon...have been thinking of my brother a lot...
thanks to all for the hugs....been a while since I was here.....also when you share a computer with 3 teens...my nephews its kind of hard to get the computer to yourself....anywho thinking of going to see a dr soon ...been having some sever painbut not sure which dr to see...for it...and we all know how that can go....well take care for now....
Need to make an appointment to see a doctor been having some sever pain lately, normally I work threw it but it has been getting a little more difficult to bare these days, I dont take anything when I am pain I just deal with it, dont know whats going on, called in from work the past 2 days going to have to call in again, hopefully Ill get some kind of relief soon....oops got to go for know my cat bella just knocked over a plant.
still have yet to make any appointment , thing are crazy right now, I have to tend to my personal finances before i can even think about taking some time off, yesterday we had a gathering last night to watch the election results and celebrated when our Candidate won, I\'m hopeful for a better future for us all, I actually felt overjoyed and hope I will feel that way for a while , well that\'s all for now, take care all
why cant I just get a break.....am I asking for to much....if it isn\'t one thing its something else...but I guess it\'s just life messing with me again.....I don\'t think I\'m a bad person....well ...I try not to be...yeah ..other people have it rougher....and I should be so lucky....but sometimes it just doesn\'t seem like things will get better........I\'m not feeling sorry for my self .......I know shit happens....I\'m not naive..... it just would be nice if one thing went right .....
OMG ..its been a crazy week....got sick like a dog...went to my doctor he told me I had a flu.... by the end of the weekend got put into the hospital with fluid in lungs.......was in there from the 23 of February to the 27th.....they poked and ran so many test it was like a episode of \"HOUSE\".....good thing... he help my aches and pains and got my temp back down to normal.......but now thinks I have PMR what ever that is......they also found an enlarged lymph node in my chest ...waiting on results on that.....finally got released from the hospital on Friday but not from doctors care.......wont release me until a specialist sees me.......cant find one until April....whats up with that........man I\'m telling you if it ain\'t one thing its another......things can only get better......and I hope there do.....
been having an empty feeling in me lately...which isn\'t common....not sure what it is....feels like nothing....been second guessing myself...I\'m getting to the point where I don\'t even care about my job.....don\'t get me wrong I have never been an emotional idiot....and that\'s what freaking me out...maybe because I\'m getting older..i don\'t know...maybe I just need a long vacation...and just chill and not worry about anything....
well.....I am about to become one of the many with out health coverage....was just told today ...that my place of employment will be letting go 500 workers...sure enough I happen to be one of them.....wow....just when you think things are about to get a little better..something else always happens....last day of health coverage for me will be October 31....guess I have to just live with the pain.....I have so far..so doing it with out insurance is nothing new.....not sure what I will do ...maybe go to one of those trade schools for awhile .... collect unemployment....I don\'t know....feel numb right now.....
been collecting unemployment for 2 months now......what they give me is nothing.....but at least I am getting somehting.....those guys at the unemployment office are of no use what so ever.....had to walk away twice..cuz to he idiot women behind the information counter was all caught up in her ..\"what happen to her that weekend\".......I will be starting school this Monday...not sure if its the right thing....but we\'ll see....its better then sitting on my bum..gaining weight....I\'m sooo disappointing in my sister in-law right now....the way she is treating her son\'s fiancee is just crazy...thats a long story ..I\'ll save for another day....but goes to show why bad things keep happening to her....karma is a bad..mother..well I wont go there...hopefully things will get better....for us all....
well its been a long time since I wrote in here...a lot has happened....I went to culinary school...found a job in teh field I went to school for however..they only wanted to pay me 8.00 and hour but work 6 days a week 12 hour days...couldn\'t live off that ...specially when my unemployment ran out...found a production job that paid 10.25 hour..but due to that Earthquake in Japan...and all the aftermath that occurred there due to it....and which happen to be where this company was from...they started to cut back...so I began to look 4 something different B4 I got the boot..which I did..and now I\'m currently working for different semiconductor.its good money..less stress and I\'m juts beginning to get my head about water...if only I had insurance everything would be awesome..but I\'m hanging in there..the best I can..while taking care of my mom..nephew, niece and our 5 pets...I know things will get better..and there is a reason 4 everything...
4 the past 3 years September has always been a rough patch for me....and I think this one will be as well....on September 14 2007...is when my brother Robert passed away....he was the youngest of my brothers..and somewhat the heart of our family..it was he who always got the family together...its weird how..I still cant get over it yet....the pain of his death still hurts...its as if a part of me is gone..and can.. will never return...I think of him always...constantly...then I think of his kids..my nephews and niece..and make it hurt that much worse.....I just cant shake this...and it angers me that I cant...I didn\'t get this worked up ...when my father passed..urdg..I hate feeling this way.. :(
wow ..its November already....got a 50 cent raise at my temp job...which is pretty good...its better then nothing..and at least I;m still working...my stupidvisor told me I\'m doing an excellent job...but I knew this already...I wish they would hire me full-time..I need benefits....not sure how our Thanksgiving will turnout..funds are very limited..going to the food bank 2 day....but as long as I have my mom..nephews and niece..and our pets with me..I\'m good..with just having a little something for Thanksgiving..Have a blessed holiday to everyone..
man...think my body is getting tired...been doing a lot over OT..just to make ends meet.....and keep food on the table...still haven\'t gotten hired full time....I never in my life have been a temp for this long....I always give 110% percent..and always get hired on full time......this company needs to a wake up..and hire me already....oh well if its meant to happen it will...maybe its just not time yet....worried about my moms..she seems unhappy....I try to take her places but she doesn\'t like to go...not sure what to do....I\'m glad my nephew and niece help me with her...I would be lost if they didn\'t....trying to make the best of it..but its actually start to get mt..and I cant allow that....anywho...have a great day..as I will try to...thank goodness I dont go in for OT till tomorrow..hopefully a little rest is all I need...
these freaking tumors are starting to get to me..usually I can fight thru the pain they cause...but lately..they been kicking my butt...the place where I work still hasn\'t hired me....I\'m about to lose the insurance I had with the temp service I\'m with....cause they are not gonna have it anymore....its no biggy..they didn\'t really cover much..but it helped...I just need a break..I know there are people out there far worse off then me ...and I should be great-full...for what I do have...and I am..but the pain from these freaking tumors..make me think and feel different...they even got me asking Y God Y..and I know I shouldn\'t...sorry...this just isn\'t me...I need to stop...and man up so to speak.....Mr. Moreno..(my pops)..didn\'t raise no punk bitches..lol..anywho...thanks for letting me vent...my dog is scratching at the door..needs to tend to her right now...
tumors been hurting a lot worse ....hurts to walk....clinch my hands...getting harder to see threw my left eye.....I don\'t like this....I pray to God...thanking him for each day I get.....sometimes I through in a payer about the pain.... just to stop it....and the tumors from growing....this isn\'t me...this isn\'t my thinking...