Im so annoyed with myself.  I always find it hard to say no to people, a few weeks ago an old friend got in contact with me.  He aked me to come out with him and others tonight.  This is a friend I havent seen in years.  He is a good friend.  But at the same time, he is one of those people who has said to me before, "pull your socks up"  and "you cant still be depressed" or "just get out there and start doing something with your life".  Im sure he means well, but it just always upsets me more.  So when we were talking a few weeks ago, I told him I was working now and that I was much better.  So I lied.  But I just didnt want him to, I dunno, start picking on me in a way In guess. So anyway, as I said, Im one of those people who struggles to say no.  So Im meant to be meeting up with him later.  I dont really want to go at all.  Ive had a pretty shit week, cutting myself, getting no sleep at night etc.   But I know I'll go, I'll put on a face, pretend everythings fine, its so annoying.  I wish I could just close the door, get into bed and watch a film that'll cheer me up and maybe get some proper sleep.