I saw my ex today.   She's a Drama teacher at a school and she is putting on a show of R&J at the begining of next year.  She asked me a couple of days ago if I would come down and take some pictures of the group in full costume to be used as publicity shots.  I agreed, I wasnt to happy about being around a lot of people but it had been such a long time since I had seen her so I did it.  The shoot went well.  But every time I see her I miss her that little more.  We were both in love with each other before it ended and we have stayed friends.  It ended because she wanted a future and I dont really see one for myself.  I was so low also before we finished it.  It had nothing to do with her.  Infact, I was always a little happier to see her when she would drop by.  She has a new boyfriend now, the second one since our break up.  The first one really hurt, I hated it.  I am doing better now (that is, with knowing nothing could ever happen with us) but I still miss her very much.  I miss her mostly at night.  I would always sleep better knowing she was there.  Am I crazy to still miss her like this?  Its been a little over a year since we ended it.I dont think it helped today when she gave me her phone and asked me to find a picture that she wanted to look at (she was driving at the time) and when I was skiping though her pics I saw one of a display of magnet letters on her fridge saying how sexy she thought her new boyfrind was.  She apologised when she saw that I had seen it, but it just affected me more than I imagined.  This guy she is with is a good man, he is the friend of a friend.  I have meet him a couple of times but this was long before they got together, so I know he will treat her right.  But still it can really hurt when I miss her.Also I have been invited to a party in a weeks time.  Its at my best friends house, they are really close friends whom I havent seen in about four weeks.  I havent really been out for the last eight days, cos I dont want anyone to see my cuts.  So Im not sure if I will go anyway, a part of me wants to.  My ex and her new boyfriend will be there too, so a part of me wants to go to show them Im ok with it.  Which I really feel that I am.  Its just Ive been so low for the last couple of weeks, I've began to cut myself again, something I havent done for a few months.  Anyway, Im going on.  Im sorry, just thought it would make me feel better.