Today was a difficult day. I went to see my daughter. Her mother went with me. She didn't spend much time at the grave and didn't say any thing to my daughter. I asked her if she wanted time alone or to say goodbye before we left and she said no, it was just her body, my daughter wasn't there. I understand that my daughter's spirit and soul are no longer with her body, but being at her grave makes me feel closer to her, and I can talk to her there. I think I will go alone next time or with my granddaughter (she works full time and can only go on her days off).
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oh John - important to go on your own or with your granddaughter maybe. I take such great comfort from keeping Johns memory garden - his ashes are there - and however much I know his spirit is everywhere, we live in this practical world - we miss the physical presence - and to be able to care for and go and speak, cry, even have a bit of a joke at times (that WILL come I promise you) - is sooo important. It is my way of being able to do something for him, to keep it nice, taking flowers. I like going with my mother - this protects me from getting terribly upset, though I go on my own as well. Take care, John....Cathrynn XX