i feel very melon collie today.. i was going to write things down about how im feeling about stuff, but it just seems like im repeating myself... so i guess i wont. i dont even want to waste the energy on it. just feel like crap about it all. i really just want to be happy.
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I had a day like that the other day. Didn\'t want to do anything One of the other members said it was from stopping gambling. That you kind of crash as your body catches up with you no longer getting the \"high\" of the gambling. Made sense. And as far as repeating yourself, I do it all the time. But sometimes that\'s okay. It instills in you what you want to do. I keep telling myself the same things over and over again, I\'m just now finally starting to listen.
ive gone through the gambling throes before, and im just glad ill never be the way i was again.... i was so ridiculous, so i know how to go through the motions as far as that goes. this was just kinda life in general. im in a better position than i have been in a couple years really, but im just not happy with alot of things, mainly myself. but things around me too, and there isnt much i can do about things. and i am in my current relationship which is kinda on the rocks and i dont know if it will change. want a new job. want to go to college, but havent even filled out the stupid form. i have to do that this week. deadline for fall is coming up. i have to do something with myself.