I paid off my puppy, YAY! she is mine forevers. going to get her first set of shots tomarrow. she is so cute. im happy i got her. i just had a feeling if i could get her somehow, that things would be ok. and things have been better since. i dont think its because of her, but she was a sign from somewhere i could be ok. i feel alot better today. im back to feeling that wonderful feeling of, i dont need him, we dont need him. My daughter has me. and that is all she needs. I can do this. HE tried telling me he will give me 500 a month, but that he cant afford much more. and i told him, that i will get whatever the courts decide, because its a little to late now for comprimise. i had left it up to him to get a lawyer to "discuss" things. he can pay the fee if its that important to him, and that it be done before the baby is born, otherwise it goes straight through the state. he says he wont have time, because of his oh so busy schedule. and i dont care. he says he needs to survive too. he has no idea. weve been broken up since august. he has recieved bonuses and had a steady paycheck and even recently got a promotion, i have had nothing. he can kiss my fucking ass because HE is the one who abandoned me. He rents out a house, and all he has in it is car parts and a couch, and complains that he has been staying with a friend because he has no bed in his place. i said dont complain to me, go to goodwill and spend 50 bucks on a damn bed, its not my fault he is crazy and pays rent for a place and doesnt want to stay there. he says he cant because he is trying to save up 3,000 dollars to be in savings before he goes out to sea. ooooooohhhh..... if i could only have that option, the poor sap. he really doesnt get it. i dont think he ever will. he tries to justify his actions, but people see the truth now. his parents even see the truth in it all. im just thankful that they are so nice, and that my baby will have some family. ive actually enjoyed the conversations i have had with his mom, we get along quite well so far. and she has even told me that although mostly he is the sweetest person, he has a violent side to him, and has put holes in walls in every house they have lived in. that she doesnt understand things about him, and she thinks that i had been very kind to him. so i dont need him. i dont need his lies. so he can just keep on lying to himself, and twisting my words around. people know now. its out there, plain as day. HE looks like the idiot, not me, and im quite happy with that.