OK im back.... my friend came with me and brought her laptop and we watched eureka.... neat show, i had never gotten into it before. they put two liters of fluid in me... i could have had more cause i didnt even have to pee. they gave me a shot of something that made me feel better, not so nauteous, i wish they had it in pill form. they gave me some different anti nausea pills. I dont know how those are going to settle with me just yet. all i know is they make me VERY tired.... im thinking about having a garage sale... selling everything i own cept my computer and a few personal things.... and moving to oklahoma. i mean, seriously thinking about it. i would stay here for what? a few good friends? i need to decide fast, this baby is coming... the doctor even said that the good thing about this is, that im going to have a baby one way or another, cause im so sick its a good sign the baby is just dandy.i guess part of me wants a gaurantee that i will be ok. but there is no garantees like that existing.and maybe i just need to pick up and move, at least for a little while. i wont be alone, there will be someone at the house, i can get to know her. she is 77. and i know if i do not get to know her, or at least meet her before something happens, i will hate myself. so i can at least go there to have the baby. i might be alone in the delivery room, but it would be the same here wouldnt it???? maybe they will fly down for me, be a family for once.. my grandma says there will be a home and food for me, and i dont have to worry about working till after the baby is born.... could they really care about me? could they really want me there? theyve never met me! this is one of those opportunities that i think if i pass up then i will never forgive myself, or always wonder what could happen. plane tickets are even cheap.... only 124 for a one way.... which means if i get there and hate it, i can come back, i can find the money to come back. the only thing im worried about now is the horses. i dont have much time to get them taken care of.... so many things to think about right now...
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He MAY be right about the horses, btu today\'s market may make that impractical, as you well know; most rescues are full up, due to so many people being unable to care for their animals. Is there somewhere in OK that you could move them? Maybe a local rescue would help you with that, when they can\'t take another mouth to feed themselves, due to space restrictions. I also understand how it would make you feel to have to give them up.
I love this - I am actually seeing some positive stuff being written by YOU in your journal. YES people love you - YES people care and it\'s ok right now to accept it. YOu need help and it\'s ok - life is a circle and one day you may be able to repay your Gma\'s kindness. It is a blessing. I am so glad for you and I think it\'s a really good choice to get away from the enviroment you have been in and everything that went with it.
Hugs to you right now - Suzi
You are in my thoughts and prayers....so glad you have a supportive Grandma...and hope you can find a good home for the horses....you and your baby have to come first! Love, Dianne