yesterday was really hard, i was having some anxiety problems or something. this depression, i dont know if its because of the gambling, or visa versa, or both. sometimes it seems if i can fix one, then i can fix another, i think part of its hormonal, cause it happens about every 2 weeks.i know for sure i need to stop gambling.  i dont know. im mad at myself.  i went to the job fair, and couldnt do it, i was looking around and it seemed there was nothing there i would be happy doing, then when they talked about taking a test i felt like i wouldnt qualify, im very bad at math, and no amount of classes can fix it, im dislexic, not for funny, for real when it comes to numbers and directions, they just flip flop somehow and i dont even realize it, and i always get the wrong answer. i do the math prosceedures right, just not the numbers apparently. well, i ended up running out of there, i just couldnt be in public. it was awful and embarrasing.  im going to try again today though, i hope i dont freak out again. i think i only have one counseling session left, after that im on my own. this just keeps getting worse.  well wish me luck on not freaking out. is there anyway you can put a negative on your goal box? i think i gained a few po unds, lol