I’ve gone from human pin cushion to yoyo. During the day it’s not so bad, keep myself busy and I’m ok and actually getting some stuff done. But it’s the quit times, in the morning before the rush begins and at night. I don’t want to go to bed, despite the fact I’m exhausted because with that my day ends, mind quiets, and this sadness builds to the point a control contain it, luckily I suppose after a good cry I calm down and am able to fall asleep, tucked into my husband. The morning it the same, this sadness sits in my chest like a weight where it stays until the day jumps off and takes over. I know this is only natural and will pass and it feels even heavier now because I got my period yesterday, which means it truly is over and it was this time last week I allowed myself to think that maybe it did work, so the reality so this week…it’s makes last week feel like a dream I had but I know it wasn’t.   I suppose I’m wallowing a bit but I guess that’s what I should do to a certain extent. It’s all part of the process.   Its’ better out then in, this is the reason for the entry. I’m not feeling as strong as I was but hopefully tomorrow will be better. I’m being taken to dinner my some of my girlfriends tonight and spending tomorrow night with VBF, so hopefully that’ll help me just relax enough to be able to put some closure, and keep my promise of a fresh start on Sunday.