ARGH…so getting closer to Beta day and well I’m feeling a little crappy. My VBF wished my feeling crappy last week and so I am but of course who freakin’ knows! I’m tried and hungry and headachy and having a few fits of yucky tummy, especially when I haven’t eaten like last night, of and I’m rather emotional I think I cried about 5 times last night watching tv; commercials, that damn Idol gives back stuff and the booted Idol, super nanny…ridiculous. I almost wish your nose would turn pink or something so you could tell what’s the drugs and what’s the baby, god I actually have trouble even typing that! Of course that’s because another part of me almost wants to live in this ignorant state I can be blissful that what I’m feeling is, yeah can’t say it again. Clearly I’m terrified that it’s all in my head, or bloodstream in the form of drugs. DH was giving me a little grief last night. My neck and shoulders have been killing me, and I of course can’t go to my chiro until I know, sort of little point so she suggested I just wait. So I’ve asked him to work on them a little, well he knows that means stress, it goes right there when I’m stressed out. So he was telling me to relax – ya right. He acknowledges that I’m going very well but he also knows that that’s a psychical marker that I’m not 100%. Well no offense but DURH! Even under the best of circumstances how exactly am I to be 100%. In fact this is the best of circumstances and yep still a bit freaked out, anxious and scarred. I just have to stay strong and balanced. I’m looking forward to my acupuncture session and dinner with my girlfriend I haven’t seem in too long on Saturday and hopefully will be nice enough to start thinking about the yard a bit, mind you I hope to not be actually doing any of the manual labor but I can plan. Turns out DH has something both Friday and Saturday nights which means Sunday he’ll be locked up edit pictures from the shoot he has Saturday so I’ll have to find things to keep me occupied.