It get to a point where you feel badly venting to friends, non-IFer’s if you will that although I know care and what to help, not knowing what I’m going through on a daily basis, just must seem like petty gripping. Unfortunately ladies in the “know” understand it’s not that simple. There are days where you just ride it out, where the IF doesn’t fully consume you, and then there are the days where you can feel like your slowly drowning. Today I’m drowning.   This evening, I might be going to visit my girlfriend, who just had a little girl yesterday. I was to go with two other girlfriends who have since backed out.   Last week we had the follow up for Cycle 1, basically successful, although I obliviously did not get PG, I did end up with 7 embryos to freeze which was far beyond what my RE expected based on the extent of Endo. She suspects that I have Hydro-Spinix (sp?) fluid in my left tube. So I was until last night waiting for my period so I could schedule the HSG that I have to have to find out whether it’s inside or outside the tube. I was and ma torn whether I wanted to know the answer before Christmas. I guess I will now. Timing is crappy though I have my hubby’s company party on Friday and am so looking forward, and really don’t feel like being bloated and cranky. Then the only option for the HSG was this coming Monday, which my Hubby and I had taken to relax and get the hell out of dodge and do something fun.   These are the latest and greatest of the things piling up on top of my usual stuff, I seem to go about two-weeks before I have a melt down, so I fully expect to have a superbly terrific melt-down this evening.   Hopefully it will pass (with the bloating) and I will have some perspective back.