I feel a little better today. I spoke to Sara last night.  I told her that I want to be there for but it is getting harder for me to do so while watching her make the same mistake with diff ppl over and over and leaving her husb in the dark.  I suggested she think long and hard about where she stands, because she cannot continue on the fence - she is either in the marriage and not seeing other ppl or she is going to get the balls to walk out. I told her I will support her in whatever she does, but she MUST make a choice.  She now knows that I cannot be a part of this.