2/16/09   Its been sometime since I have been on this site. So much has happened...I dont even know where to begin. Since my last journal entry I ended that relationship and moved to TN for another relationship. It was good for a year and then ended horribly. They left me for another guy that they only knew for 5 mins in the club. I have decided to stay away from the club scene. I was heartbroken, I have never felt anything like that. I know I was truly in love. But anyways, after the break up I moved back to my hometown in GA and stayed a week and realized how miserable I really was. I called my aunt and begged her to let me live with her because of the past few years were so cruel to me. She agreed.  I know live with her in SC. I have all reasons to be happy yet for some reason...Im still not happy. I have a fulltime job, a new relationship, and live with family. I only pay $125 a month for rent and that is the cheapest offer Ive ever been given. So why am I still not happy with my life? What else can I do to be truly happy? I wish I knew how that felt again...Its been so long since I have known the feeling.    I was put on anti-anxiety and anti-depressants and I have finally gotten myself off of the meds...I thougth I was ok for a while..still upset but I figured that I could control it. Only to find now that I cant. But I didnt like how they made me feel..made me feel like a zombie with no purpose in life. Work is exhausting...they change my hours around all the time from early morning hrs to late night hrs that lead into early morning hrs then work that same night after getting off at 7 am. I know that is just life...some people work even more weird hrs. Im just not used to it. Im trying my best though. Ill keep this updated now that I have my own computer.