I hate this life.  I hate him.  I hate that now he is nice to me.  I hate that I have begged him to stay.  I hate that I came home from work at 10:30 pm to find that his truck is gone and he left our daughter home alone most of the night.  He is with her, and my heart is breaking and I don't know why.  Why do I care, he repeatedly told me he is not in love with me and wants his freedom.  Here I am home all upset about his actions and treatment of me.  I just have to get it through me thick head that it is over.  I hate that my heart is breaking over that cheating, lying, selfish jerk who can only think of his penis.