I'm a 35 yr old step grandma to my 2 1/2 ur old grandson. He has been in our care since he was 13 months old. I am grateful to have found his site. I know many people go threw this experience but not actually knowing anyone who has. Friends can sympathize but it's a different experience to go threw. The craziness dealing with little ones parents, and the complexities little ones have from the trauma, loss, and chaos they have experienced in there short lives.
I had gone back to school to complete my degree in children's studies with a specialization in children's mental health and behavioural strategies. 6 months before I was to finally graduate my step daughter who grew up in foster care ask if she could move back with us. We tried once before and the placement broke down in under two months as we had no idea about anything. It was the most traumatic two months of my families life.
Baby comes along and the calls, the texts, the fb messages start coming...baby needs diapers...food... Baby needs a lot. Go figure. CPS got involved because the dad (who for some reason they considered the responsible one) was facing jail time and if he was sent away they were going to apprehend my grandson. We allowed my step daughter who was 17 at the time to come back into our home only for baby's sake. She managed to last 6 days before returning to her province to be with the boyfriend, and without baby because child protection told her if she came back to that province they would take him when she got off the plane. Unbeknownst to her that CPS here considered him abandoned because he was here with out a caregiver. We were given the option of him going into care,(which was not an option) or applying for guardianship on our own, which is what we did.
Our last court appearance in april mom was there, and had to have a visit. This was a horrible idea. Little one had some issues when he first came, but we worked them out, and one would never know the difficult beginning he had. It all came flooding back and then some. It breaks my heart to see him struggle so much. It was a single two hour visit which we supervised.
I would just like for this to be done with now. The court stuff, living our life on hold or 4-6 months at a time never knowing when a judge may give her another chance. She is currently homeless yet again (the 4th time since court date) and thinks she will be able to have her son back in October when we go back. Her legal aid lawyer quit on her, I hope she gets a new one so the are no more delays. So far the court has only addressed the fact that she doesn't have a job or education and moves a lot. Which are all good issue but not my biggest concern with her. Her mental health and parenting abilities is the big one. Little one has high needs (possibly on the autism spectrum) and she has a low tolerance for just about everything. Easily irritated by mundane things that don't go her way. I can't fathom how she would manage with a demanding two year old who has little tolerance for for any kind of stress, and can spend hours repeating the same phrase over and over. From moms at the grocery store who don't help crying babies to garbage trucks passing by.
After GS dad went to jail shes jumped from one bad relationship to the next as a means of not being alone. Guys who were involved in drugs, hit her, demeaned her yet she doesn't see how that can negatively effect a child. Even her latest reason for being homeless. She moved in with her half sisters adopted family who was helping her. Within a few weeks she moved in her "friend" which was a guy she was in love with after knowing for just a couple weeks, who didn't return her feelings but would have sex with her. The mom told her he couldn't live there too so she opted to leave with him and no where to go. We have since decided enough is enough, we all need some stability, and things haven't even slightly improved on her end. Little one has lived more of his life with us than her. I really think its in his best interest
I had gone back to school to complete my degree in children's studies with a specialization in children's mental health and behavioural strategies. 6 months before I was to finally graduate my step daughter who grew up in foster care ask if she could move back with us. We tried once before and the placement broke down in under two months as we had no idea about anything. It was the most traumatic two months of my families life.
Baby comes along and the calls, the texts, the fb messages start coming...baby needs diapers...food... Baby needs a lot. Go figure. CPS got involved because the dad (who for some reason they considered the responsible one) was facing jail time and if he was sent away they were going to apprehend my grandson. We allowed my step daughter who was 17 at the time to come back into our home only for baby's sake. She managed to last 6 days before returning to her province to be with the boyfriend, and without baby because child protection told her if she came back to that province they would take him when she got off the plane. Unbeknownst to her that CPS here considered him abandoned because he was here with out a caregiver. We were given the option of him going into care,(which was not an option) or applying for guardianship on our own, which is what we did.
Our last court appearance in april mom was there, and had to have a visit. This was a horrible idea. Little one had some issues when he first came, but we worked them out, and one would never know the difficult beginning he had. It all came flooding back and then some. It breaks my heart to see him struggle so much. It was a single two hour visit which we supervised.
I would just like for this to be done with now. The court stuff, living our life on hold or 4-6 months at a time never knowing when a judge may give her another chance. She is currently homeless yet again (the 4th time since court date) and thinks she will be able to have her son back in October when we go back. Her legal aid lawyer quit on her, I hope she gets a new one so the are no more delays. So far the court has only addressed the fact that she doesn't have a job or education and moves a lot. Which are all good issue but not my biggest concern with her. Her mental health and parenting abilities is the big one. Little one has high needs (possibly on the autism spectrum) and she has a low tolerance for just about everything. Easily irritated by mundane things that don't go her way. I can't fathom how she would manage with a demanding two year old who has little tolerance for for any kind of stress, and can spend hours repeating the same phrase over and over. From moms at the grocery store who don't help crying babies to garbage trucks passing by.
After GS dad went to jail shes jumped from one bad relationship to the next as a means of not being alone. Guys who were involved in drugs, hit her, demeaned her yet she doesn't see how that can negatively effect a child. Even her latest reason for being homeless. She moved in with her half sisters adopted family who was helping her. Within a few weeks she moved in her "friend" which was a guy she was in love with after knowing for just a couple weeks, who didn't return her feelings but would have sex with her. The mom told her he couldn't live there too so she opted to leave with him and no where to go. We have since decided enough is enough, we all need some stability, and things haven't even slightly improved on her end. Little one has lived more of his life with us than her. I really think its in his best interest
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