Sigh.

  I sit here, listening to music I normally enjoy. But I can't find enjoyment. I have had a few random tears fall down my cheeks, and I cannot stop checking the time. I feel a lot of discomfort on the inside.
 My enjoyment left when the truth completely disappeared. Now all I count on is that you'll be gone more than you are around. And all I can feel is the hurt and disappointment. And I have become so mean to myself.
 I have poured my heart to you, because I believed showing my vulnerability would be crucial for us to heal. But it's come back to smack me each and every time. All my heart wants is to find a best friend and companion inside of you, but you've shown me that it just no longer exists.
 I am struggling now, because our anniversary is coming next month. My heart feels as broken as it did on the day that I found out. There's no comfort. And I don't think you would notice if I disappeared off the planet forever. I don't know who I am to you.