Oh my it has been so long since I have written here.  Life continues apace.  I turned fifty last week.  I am on spring break from school.  My son is on a trip back east looking at the colleges he is considering with my dad and step mom.  My daughter just got back from a three day Ensenada cruise to Mexico.  I have been feeling a bit melancholy lately and it probably stems from the contact that I had with my wife.  We talked two days ago.  It was a peaceful conversation for the most part and she has agreed to mediation finally it appears.  I say appears because her words and her deeds have not matched up in the last six months.  Her boyfriend is due out of jail soon and that might set things off again.  I am not sure why I want an amicable divorce rather than using lawyers besides the extra money but it feels important to me.  I want to do things the right way, the mature way. I am not sure if that is reality.  Several friends told me that my wife had taken a friend of her boyfriend when she got her apartment and he forged my name on the application.  That is what I mean about her honesty.  She lies very easily.  It all sounds so good coming out of her mouth and then after when the facts don't match up it seems very different. I am seeing a woman and have been for a month of so.  She was a friend of my wife.  My wife had the audacity to upbraid me for not telling her about seeing this woman, even though she was having an affair when we were still living together.  I really like this woman a lot.  She is smart, patient, understanding and she likes me.  That is a big thing.  My wife not only didn't love me anymore, she didn't like me.  Truth be told, I don't like my wife much either.   My life is full and busy.  It was interesting to have some days with no kids here which is a small preperation for what my life will be like next year.  I am sure that things will stay good for me as I have done all the work I can do to make sure that I like myself and can respect myself.  At times it is hard to see how long it takes to recover from the pain and loss but it is truly to be expected after ending a twenty year marriage.  I feel like I am right where I am supposed to be and that there are great things in store for me.