The roller coaster of emotions is rough. It is six thirty in the morning. I woke up an hour ago and the sadness started. The fact that the pain is there each day is hard. I am so tired of thinking about this. It has been months now and although the pain is less than it was it is still there all the time each day. I don't know how to work through it any other way than coming here and writing about it. My sbtx just dogged me hard. She had so many lies going on and did so many things that I see as scandalous. I hate the idea of giving up my dream of a happy marriage. I have a personal stake in the marriage. I know that I didn't fail the marriage did, but I still feel the loss and the failure. It is just so sad;it is just so sad....
Replies
It is very difficult to admit something that we worked so hard at didn\'t fulfill the dreams we desired. You did not fail--if you had not tried then you could say you failed. But you did try and that is what counts. There is even something to learn from this loss. My lesson is that I can never really know another persons true nature. The only person I can truly know is myself. Guess that\'s where \"to thine own self be true\". I am what I am and can be nothing less without compromising who and what I am. Try and find that inner strength I know is there. You used it to try and hold your marriage together. Now it is time to use it to let the marriage go. Let her go. Mourn your loss, but know it is not the loss of this person, it is the loss of your dreams. Mourn then let the pain go. Let the tears fall then wipe them away so that you may see your path more clearly. Then start taking one step at a time toward you new dreams.
OMG your an english teacher. I hope you grade on content instead of grammer and sentence structure. I will pay more attention next time and make sure I do a better job. :/ ---:)
It\'s been since Oct, 1974 that my ex moved in with another and we are divorced since the end of this past July. It hurts big time that he doesn\'t want me or our kids after 30 years. I have good and bad days and today is a bad one. My MIL - who lives across the street and owns this house - still causes trouble between her son and me so crying again. I can\'t afford to move right now but as soon as I can - I\'m outta here! Now, I know where my ex got the idea that lieing is okay even if it hurts someone. I hurt so bad but keeping it to myself. I don\'t want to drop to their level. Don\'t be sad and let others ruin who you are...
Yes it is very sad. I wish there were something I could say to make you feel better. I hope that you and your children have a Merry Christmas!!
I know that it is very said for you right now. It is not easy going through all the tough times. I hope that you have a better tomorrow after all of this is over. One day at a time. Don\'t be to hard on yourself. You will get through this.
Writing is good. It is all that I know to do to get it out, and so many times I start in one direction, and end in another. Answers come out that I wasn\'t expecting. I hope this will begin to happen for You.
There are no easy answers. My sister told me that I had to \"walk through the fire.\" I was not to come out until the pain stopped. I took her advice and totally immersed myself.
I have read, tried suggestions and moved out of his physical presence. This has helped. But still there are times...and they will continue, until they one day disappear completely.
We will all survive this. We will all be stronger. It is just so difficult to get past the saddness on some days.
(((Hugs))) and Hope.