Today is friday and friday nights can be hard.  I work hard and feel sad on the weekends.  Tonight both kids are out and about, my daughter babysitting and my son playing poker with his friends.  They need fun and money in their lives!  Yesterday my wife text messaged me and said how sorry she was about all the pain she caused me.  Today I asked her if she was happy with her new boyfriend and she replied yes.  There is nothing more I need to know.  I am hurt  angry and sad and am getting so tired of feeling that way.  I don't want her in my head.  I want to be free of her.  She took so much of our money and spent so much more.  I know that I am better off without her but the sadness just won't listen to reason.  Pain just gets so old.  I know that I will be ok this weekend.  Shoot I have one hundred Huck Finn essays to grade.  That should keep me busy for sure!  I have shut down the bank accounts so more of less all I have to shut down now is my crazy head which still misses her, even though she has been gone for months physically and much longer than that mentally.  I want to feel happy again.