Lost in Translation...
Ex told Connor last night that he would like for him to give his gf a "fair shake"..
Connor tells me tonight that at least all he has to do is give her a "handshake"..
I filled him in..
Ex talked to me today... I asked him if he realized that what he did yesterday was tell his kids that he will take them on a vacation..but only if they would play nice with the gf. Otherwise..they would stay at home. 
Anyway..issue is over and now I have the fun task of accepting the things I cannot change and trying not to go crazy doing it.
I thought, just for a minute, that it would have been easier..for me anyway..if he had just gotton run over by a bus. OKAY..not better for the kids so no more bus fantasies. 
NEW RELATIONSHIPS....
Forgot how much fun they were. That great beginning part..before the little things they do now (that are SOO cute) start to drive you crazy.
I used to completely trust my feelings, my instincts, my judgement. That made new relationships easier..
Now I find myself second guessing instead of being brave and jumping off the deep end. I used to be brave. I want to be brave.
I have wondered..what can ANYONE actually do to me at this point?? They can't have 2 kids with me and walk out. I survived that.
SO...instead of being brave I find myself calculating risk. How bad could it be?? What is the worst case scenerio??
These are the things I now think about before I can let myself fall..in whatever it is that we fall into.
There have been moments when it felt like love..imagine that.
Replies
Love? Ooohhh - not ready to imagine that :)
I am happy for you though... and yet, I completely understand your hesitation.
I think you characterize it very well... after getting burned so badly... it is natural to want to not risk too much too soon. Sounds like a good guy too, so I am sure he\'ll understand this.
Sounds like you are dealing with a lot of things lately. You are handling it well. You are \"Super Mom\". Keep up the good work.
Happy for you with your new friend. Sometimes I wish I could fast forward like in the movie \"click\". Get over all the crap you know. Won\'t happen, I know it is a good experience learning to get over all the past. I certainly understand about being unsure to trust someone again.
Have a great Thursday!
I wouldn\'t call it calculating risks, I call it experience. We now have the opportunity to make sure we find that special person and if it\'s not what we want or need, then let\'s try again. No rush, no hurry. Only time for us to have a little fun while we look.
Hope your day is going well and have a great weekend.