No long journal entries today but my reflective mood this week got me thinking about something..Even before my ex left I was starting to feel like my life was changing a little. Reece about to start kindergarten. Midnight feedings and chasing toddlers were becoming a thing of the past. A full time job and kids that were 4 1/2 years apart kept me baby busy. I did most of it alone. Taking a bath or making it to the hairdresser were luxuries. A fun time.. but no time for myself. Now the kids were getting older. They needed room to grow..which gave me room to breath.My mother used to tell me that 30's were the best years for a woman. That's because she had her kids when she was in her 20's. At 39 I was feeling like I was just about to start my "best years".When my ex left I was furious about his timing. I even told him that it was "mean" to leave a 39 yr old woman. A great age. Not old but old enough ..and have lived enough..to understand life..and what is important. Young enough to still look, and feel, great. Secure enough to accept my flaws and be completely comfortable in my own skin. All of the sudden I was alone..and I was not happy about it. Now for the exact same reasons that I felt his timing was off..I think it was perfect. I think that if he was a person who would cheat when things were going well..he would have cheated eventually. He doesn't deserve my best years. I will spend them alone, and be happy about it, until I find the right person to spend them with. A worthy pursuit that is currently going very well. Possible that I may never find him..certain that I am going to have a lot of fun trying.
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Read your journal yesterday, you ever thought about being a writer. Your thoughts are so fluid. I\'m happy for you, that you have kept yourself together so well. You are very lucky to have such good friends, they came from all directions. They even flew in, wow that is really something..
It is too bad when a spouse thinks they like the grass on the other side, funny when they get there I really think they see how brown it is. Might be they are too proud to admit it after they have left, I don\'t know.
I know what you mean about being 40-ish. Old enough to know what is important and still young enough to enjoy it. You are an inspiration in how you handled your situation. Have a good night. :)
Hey Che; thank for being so honest in your journals. You have helped me through - seeing that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and watching your dedication to the boys has been inspiring. Like the words about being 39 - turn 40 next month, but feeling comfortable about who I am. Thanks again for taking the time to share your thoughts
Someone wrote about happiness isn\'t at the end of the ride in life, it\'s the life\'s ride. We have our happiness as we move along, there is no one point in life that we reach where we will be happy. It\'s great your finding your happiness along the way and not looking for that one person who will make you happy.
Have a great weekend, you are an inspiration not only to the gals, but to us guys.
Well said. It makes perfect sense & looking back I felt some of the same, especially with the kids. This made me realize something about my ex too, but I think about that more later.
Maybe I need to plan a big party this December when I turn 39!
I appreciate reading how you are putting the story of your life back together. I know I am a ways out yet from integrating all of this together into one cohesive narrative that I can move on from. But it helps to know it is out there ahead of me and reading your journal helps in that process. Thank You. I also greatly admire your courage, character, and heart.
you said, exactly how i am feeling and exactly how i look forward to feeling. except my situation is reversed. thank you for such an inspirational story.