Had a great time last night..with one small glitch..
In the middle of the game a friend called..twice..must be important so I answered. She, and some others, spotted my ex and the gf. She watched them for a while and then said hi to my ex. he was most unhappy about the spotting.
Hit me the wrong way so I called him and left a message..busted..nice going..and by someone who will happily share that information.
Another backslide..
The thing that bothers me about it is that they are still lying about being together. They have actually both stated in depositions that they are not seeing each other. Everyone knows that they are. Them saying this is supposed to help her with her divorce and custody case.
It's annoying. Seems like since they broke up two families to be together they would simply be together. Not these two.
Got back into the game and watching the kids all play together. The kids were all snuggled on me to watch the fireworks and it hit me..
I was having a wonderful moment with my kids..he was spending time with a whore.
I win.
The gf's stbx's lawyer wants me to testify for him. He is going to call me. He wants me to tesify, mostly I think, about the "father figure" that she has chosen to be with.
Not sure if I want to get on a stand and talk about that..but.. her, unlike my, divorce has been so filled with lies. She is still trying to get divorced on grounds of being seperated for 1 yr..not Adultry..even though he has all of the proof he needs..and then some.
Her stbx is a great dad. He does not want my ex to be a primary male role model in his son's life. I don't blame him.
Something to think about...
In the middle of the game a friend called..twice..must be important so I answered. She, and some others, spotted my ex and the gf. She watched them for a while and then said hi to my ex. he was most unhappy about the spotting.
Hit me the wrong way so I called him and left a message..busted..nice going..and by someone who will happily share that information.
Another backslide..
The thing that bothers me about it is that they are still lying about being together. They have actually both stated in depositions that they are not seeing each other. Everyone knows that they are. Them saying this is supposed to help her with her divorce and custody case.
It's annoying. Seems like since they broke up two families to be together they would simply be together. Not these two.
Got back into the game and watching the kids all play together. The kids were all snuggled on me to watch the fireworks and it hit me..
I was having a wonderful moment with my kids..he was spending time with a whore.
I win.
The gf's stbx's lawyer wants me to testify for him. He is going to call me. He wants me to tesify, mostly I think, about the "father figure" that she has chosen to be with.
Not sure if I want to get on a stand and talk about that..but.. her, unlike my, divorce has been so filled with lies. She is still trying to get divorced on grounds of being seperated for 1 yr..not Adultry..even though he has all of the proof he needs..and then some.
Her stbx is a great dad. He does not want my ex to be a primary male role model in his son's life. I don't blame him.
Something to think about...
Replies
Great way to look at it - you won! I have actually taken to not answering my mobile when my kids are with me. As long as they are by my side, the rest of the world can wait an hour or two. Interesting about the testifying - food for thought, but it is a big call to be pulled into another unhappy marriage. I don\'t know what I would do.
First, I understand the gf stbx wanting the adultery thing. It will help his case with custody and not having to pay any spousal support. As far as your testifying, I think I would if asked. GF stbx deserves whatever he can get. They both cheated and deserve nothing, definitely not everything.
You definitely win and are the winner. You have the most important things to come out of your marriage, your kids. It also appears your healing more and more each day. It\'s good to know that you will be fine for the future.
I would love for GS\'s STBX to call me to testify on his behalf. But he isn\'t filing-he\'s not in a hurry. He doesn\'t/didn\'t have anyone waiting in the wings. They have no kids together. He\'s waiting for her to file. And she hasn\'t because of 1)money but 2)cause I work in the Court she has to file in, LOL. I, myself, experienced a similiar incident yesterday. Rotten timing on my part and I was real bad and backslid-think I will write on journal about it. Its bad, but i have to forgive myself. Maybe that will help. Telling the world how ugly I was.
What the hell is the matter with these people breaking up perfectly-good families and then sneaking around like thieves in the night? Sorry to rant but the last six months have finally exposed me to this part of the culture and it baffles me to no end. It\'s so complicated with the children, the separations, the legal frameworks, and the web of deceipt. How can people willingly leave behind nice, stable families for such chaos? I suppose you ask the same question all the time as well.
I fail to see the legal relevance of 1 year separation versus adultery for marriage dissolution. Perhaps that is why most states are now \"no fault\" as the end results are still the same for the most part. In Florida, the court didn\'t ask and didn\'t care why the marriage broke up. It took ten working days to permanently unravel all my years with that woman.
steveng..all states being different..it does seem to make a difference here..big frown on adultry and she doesn\'t want that to go down in the record books for being the reason for her divorce..
As for leaving a nice stable family..who knows??? Talked to my friend from last night..turns out a lot of my friends were there. She said that he looked miserable..even before he saw her there (which made him MORE miserable)..she said that he gave up an awful lot for something that he is obviously ashamed of. Something that he still feels the need to lie about..even 6 months after our divorce. Crazy to me..I\'ll never understand it..
Che you know I thought about going down the adultery path, when I talked to my attorney in January. But in my state to prove adultery it takes more than what I had (emails where they professed their love, hotel receipts where they stayed together, etc.). No in my state, I\'d have to catch them in the act, pay a private investigator to get video, etc. I finally thought, do I want this pain in my life? And decided it wasn\'t worth it.
You are a wonderful mom -- enjoy your day.
ChrisB..I got my divorce on grounds of adultry the easy way..he fessed up and brought a witness to court. I don\'t know what i would have done otherwise..maybe killed him..lol..I also got \"custody\" of the insurance policy!!!!
To all above. I\'ve worked in the VA court system for 10yrs now. Live in WV going thru a divorce and know MD\'s laws from STBX 1st divorce. In all 3 of these states, adultry does not seem to matter. As my atty said to me, Judges only shrugs their shoulders--its too common. Also ChrisB is right. You need so much proof. And Steveng59 is right too. Atty says to me in WV: Doesn\'t matter whether its no fault or adultry. I would get the same. Seeing these cases every day at work, taught me that it just wasn\'t worth the tears I saw, the pain I see. Females coming in with their \"proof\", the husbands smirking. The sluts in the background smikring at the pain the wife is going thru. Hence, why I went with the Irreconcilabe difference thing. STBX didn\'t want adultry on the paperwork. The monies, the emotional aspects, didn\'t matter when the end result was the same--marriage destroyed. No one comes out the winner. Everyone loses on some level. Its all about how you handle the lost. Sorry to say, I am losing cause I am not handling it well and he is winning cause of his handling--(it helps he has a GF to support and love him and distract him from his pain) I have no immediate, one on one support. Just here and boy am I glad for people like Che2. Although I don\'t have you in person, your warmth shines thru. Your messages to me. Your gifts to me. You are such a wonderful person and I appreciate you. You and BCw3 and CATT have been big helps to me. I love you all three. And I feel good that I can at least see BCw3 in person for support. Keep up the good work.
I\'m not sure what I can add here that the others haven\'t, other than how disappointed you must be with your choice of husband and mate. Your ex\'s behavior borders...or maybe is...self-destructive.
I am glad for the no-fault state CA is - it made my divorce simplier (stbx tried to get dirt on me, but it was only computer printouts. It would have made the divorce cost more for her to rip apart my character, and me to counter rip and/or defend myself. It wold have proved nothing)
It\'s a sad statement about your ex that he isn\'t even worthy of being a step dad!
blues..I guess that depends on the definition of worthy..for a guy whose only son is everything to him..my ex is not worthy..I agree..