Happy May!!
Logged on early this morning to catch up. Get home with the kids last night and we all went to bed.
I am happy about the first day of this month. 23 days and school is out for the summer. Kids have gotton through this school year amazingly well but we are all ready for a little down time.
My ex has made no plans for the kids this summer. Divorce papers say that he gets 2 weeks but he told me that he probably won't get them because he is not "going anywhere". He gets them every Tuesday evening and with no school they could spend those nights with him but he won't think of that. He could really get them as much as he wanted, as long as he takes care of them and they want to go I am not going to keep them from him. He knows that. I have spent the last 10 months trying to get him to do the right thing but I am not going to do that this summer. I'll never understand why he doesn't want to spend more time with them. Besides being his kids they are great kids and fun to be around.
Connor wanted me to get him something last night and I told him no. I have to admit that I have fallen into the trap of not saying no to my kids. Not enough anyway. Didn't want them to think that, because of divorce, they would not be able to have things or do things but divorce or not they need to appreciate what they have. Yes to everything that you want is not real life.
My disadvantage there is that my "extra kid" who lives next door has EVERYTHING!! An alocoholic father that lives out of state and feels guilty is the reason for that. 10 yrs old and he has a CAR parked in the driveway, Not kidding. I have told Connor that if he uses that as his reference to what he should have he will be very dissapointed. To his credit Connor told me last night that the kid next door doesn't have EVERYTHING..he doesn't have me for a mom. Connor also told me that he thinks that he will grow up to be more "successful" because he works harder. Smart kid!!
Life feels a little overwhelming today but we'll get mom out of the Hospital and I'll get to spend this evening with her. Ex has the kids.
Today I am thankful for a journal to ramble in and for the people who actually spend thier time reading and responding to my ramblings!!
Logged on early this morning to catch up. Get home with the kids last night and we all went to bed.
I am happy about the first day of this month. 23 days and school is out for the summer. Kids have gotton through this school year amazingly well but we are all ready for a little down time.
My ex has made no plans for the kids this summer. Divorce papers say that he gets 2 weeks but he told me that he probably won't get them because he is not "going anywhere". He gets them every Tuesday evening and with no school they could spend those nights with him but he won't think of that. He could really get them as much as he wanted, as long as he takes care of them and they want to go I am not going to keep them from him. He knows that. I have spent the last 10 months trying to get him to do the right thing but I am not going to do that this summer. I'll never understand why he doesn't want to spend more time with them. Besides being his kids they are great kids and fun to be around.
Connor wanted me to get him something last night and I told him no. I have to admit that I have fallen into the trap of not saying no to my kids. Not enough anyway. Didn't want them to think that, because of divorce, they would not be able to have things or do things but divorce or not they need to appreciate what they have. Yes to everything that you want is not real life.
My disadvantage there is that my "extra kid" who lives next door has EVERYTHING!! An alocoholic father that lives out of state and feels guilty is the reason for that. 10 yrs old and he has a CAR parked in the driveway, Not kidding. I have told Connor that if he uses that as his reference to what he should have he will be very dissapointed. To his credit Connor told me last night that the kid next door doesn't have EVERYTHING..he doesn't have me for a mom. Connor also told me that he thinks that he will grow up to be more "successful" because he works harder. Smart kid!!
Life feels a little overwhelming today but we'll get mom out of the Hospital and I'll get to spend this evening with her. Ex has the kids.
Today I am thankful for a journal to ramble in and for the people who actually spend thier time reading and responding to my ramblings!!
Replies
Great kids, see what a great mom produces. Connor is way ahead of the game already, that line about having you for a mom, brought a tear to my eye, a happy one.
I don\'t understand he doesn\'t have to have plans. Just take the kids, play with them, take them to the pool, park, amusement rides, bike riding, hiking, (I could go on but you already know this). I look forward to just taking time off with them. Even if I don\'t go anywhere special. I have plans to go camping a few nights, but not a whole week. We had a blast last year doing that.
Well enjoy this upcoming summer and happy Mayday to you.
I agree with you saying no. I feel guilty also but we can\'t buy them everything. Part of saying no is saying I Love You!!
Part of good mothering is setting boundaries. I am starting a new system at home, rewarding myself with \"frequent parent points\" - like airline bonus points, but for good parenting. You earning quite a few today - setting boundaries by saying no, taking the time to have a good conversation with Connor, and surviving a day that was \"out of the ordinary\" because your mum is in hospital. Oh, and you get bonus, extra frequent parent points for being a great daughter!!!!
Well, when that next-door kid gets the clap from the hookers his dad sends him, you can say \'See! Be happy you got what you got!\"
Saying no was always easy for me in the past, I was the NO guy. Mom was the YES woman. But I\'m learning to give a little so kids don\'t feel its all for nothing. Kids mom used to buy them something everytime she got them. Now I guess she\'s out of money, it has stopped. Wish she would get them more, I don\'t think she really plans on getting them any more during summer.
Conner sounds like a great kid. Like the others said, comes from a great mom. Keep up the good work. Good to hear about your mom too.