Good day today. Reece is better and went to school with a smile. Checking his bookbag this morning I found some "literature" sent home by the school counselor about kids and divorce. I am sure that was related to the couple of bad days at school lately. I read it and, like the single mom book, there were a few useful pieces of information (that I already knew) and the rest was crap.
I am sure that the people who write this stuff are very intelligent and qualified to do it BUT they don't know me or my kids or what we need.
Decided to look inward for solutions.
Thought about Reece's bad days and both of them were days where things didn't go quite right. No bookbag in the morning should not be such a crisis but for now, for him, it is.
Decided that what my kids need right now from thier single mom is for all of the details of thier lives to be perfectly in order. At least until they feel very confident about thier new situation. so...
I am going to make things run as smooth and stable as I possibly can. If ex forgets the bookbag again I will be at daycare bright and early to retrieve it.
I will attend to the details of thier days and make sure that all of the papers are signed, snow cone money is not forgotton, etc.
I want them to be secure and the best way I know to do that is to make things run as smoothly as possible around here. I have been trying but I can do better.
I get overwhelmed with the "big picture"..I don't have to raise them in 1 day..or 1 year. I am going to do single mom "baby steps"..first step..create a solid foundation.
To celebrate I bought Connor a book. he has been very into a new series of books from Christian Supply and is ready for the nextone. They are pricey and I bought the last one 4 days ago. He finished it already and told me this morning that he has $6 and will wait until he gets his allowance to get the next one. Passedby there today and balanced my checkbook in the parking lot. Bought the book. I am going to clean his room for him and leave it on his bed. He is going to be so excited. And appreciative.. which is why I bought it.
I can do single mom..without a book!!
I am sure that the people who write this stuff are very intelligent and qualified to do it BUT they don't know me or my kids or what we need.
Decided to look inward for solutions.
Thought about Reece's bad days and both of them were days where things didn't go quite right. No bookbag in the morning should not be such a crisis but for now, for him, it is.
Decided that what my kids need right now from thier single mom is for all of the details of thier lives to be perfectly in order. At least until they feel very confident about thier new situation. so...
I am going to make things run as smooth and stable as I possibly can. If ex forgets the bookbag again I will be at daycare bright and early to retrieve it.
I will attend to the details of thier days and make sure that all of the papers are signed, snow cone money is not forgotton, etc.
I want them to be secure and the best way I know to do that is to make things run as smoothly as possible around here. I have been trying but I can do better.
I get overwhelmed with the "big picture"..I don't have to raise them in 1 day..or 1 year. I am going to do single mom "baby steps"..first step..create a solid foundation.
To celebrate I bought Connor a book. he has been very into a new series of books from Christian Supply and is ready for the nextone. They are pricey and I bought the last one 4 days ago. He finished it already and told me this morning that he has $6 and will wait until he gets his allowance to get the next one. Passedby there today and balanced my checkbook in the parking lot. Bought the book. I am going to clean his room for him and leave it on his bed. He is going to be so excited. And appreciative.. which is why I bought it.
I can do single mom..without a book!!
Replies
Hmmm.....Maybe you should write the \"Single Mom Without The Book\" book?
I approach self-help books looking for ideas only - not to adopt the whole philosophy because one size does *not* fit all (hence all the books on a particular self-help subject).
My opinion is you\'re on the right track. Raising kids is very fluid - just when you have your kid pegged, the go into a new phase. Always takes me a while to catch up, then the cycle morphs again.
I think structure is critical during this time of change, and it\'s going to be my first priority when I get my new place.
Great entry Che - same realisation is happening here - my energy has to focus on being the best mum, staying reasonalby on top fo the ever grwoing list of \"things to do\" Last week, it was problems with the 16yo mobile phone. After that littel drama, the wheels just came off. My job to put the wheels back on, with an extra bolt and nut, and make sure the rest of the machine of single motherhood is well oiled and working
Your a great single mom. We all worry about our children thats what makes us great moms. I wish I had the answer. Mine are teenagers so silence is part of their lives but is killing me. I just tell them I love them and will take care of them. I pray and try to be the mom I\'ve always been. I suppose they need structure and discipline and by us giving it to them shows our love.
This is getting a tad bit one sided ladies :) Don\'t forget us single Dads! All I can do is baby steps. 2 teenagers and one who thinks he is can really be a kick somedays ;)
we would NEVER forget you single dads!!!
Kids need stability, especially during times like these. You are a great single mom and you can do it. It\'s working for this single dad. I have been busting my butt to get my house in order, their rooms, homework, etc. but it is paying off. They seem much happier than before. It just makes things run better and eaier for me. I\'m still tired though. I\'ve only been doing this for five and a half months.
The only thing that really sucks for me is my teenager is still lost and angry and wants to grow up too fast, yet wants everyone to bail him out all the time. I don\'t know how you singles with teens do it...
It is not only kids that need some sort of stability t this--we grown-ups need that too. It can be difficult for everyone involved because change is difficult and our worlds are now turned upside down. As adults we understand this and know the source--but it does not make it any easier to go through emotionally. As for children--they do not have the maturity to see the whole big picture yet and are self focused. Having rituals and keeping a solid base is excellent because it gives them an area of their life they can count on when the rest of their lives seem so uncertain. Cheers to stability! Great entry --one we can all benefit from.
pretty cool stuff...gives me a solid base for attacking my house and life. Thx cheri