Okay, this is why I hate my ex today. he talked to my son last night. Don't know what he said BUT the poor kid was tied up in knots thinking that his dad was upset with him. All of this over a playstation!
10 yr old tells me last night that he does not want dad " mad" at him and that he feels" sorry" for his dad because he lives in a basement and does not have any money. I have financial worries but have enough sense not to put that on my kids.
Called my ex today and for the first time was actually very mean! I told him that i don't now if he is happy or not but if he isn't he needs to put on enough of a happy face so that his children won't worry about him. I told him that the next time I hear about how they feel " sorry" for him I will make sure that they understand that all of this was his choice. I never told the kids that I told him he could stay if he was willing to try to work it out but I will if I have to. ( probably would not do that). Don't know why he is upset becuase I bought the kids a playstation. probably some underlying guilt about taking the one that they had. Anyway, somewhere in this conversation he made some stumbling statement about them being his kids too and I said " you need to read those divorce papers a little more carefully"! Mean.
Only a little mean though because while he was in love and all excited about his new " life" HE signed his kids away. Lock, stock and barrell as my grandmother used to say. Didn't break a sweat when he was doing it either. A gun to my head and I would not have signed those papers. Glad he did because now that he is on his own I see him more and more for what he is and it not anything fit to raise my children.
Feel better now!!
10 yr old tells me last night that he does not want dad " mad" at him and that he feels" sorry" for his dad because he lives in a basement and does not have any money. I have financial worries but have enough sense not to put that on my kids.
Called my ex today and for the first time was actually very mean! I told him that i don't now if he is happy or not but if he isn't he needs to put on enough of a happy face so that his children won't worry about him. I told him that the next time I hear about how they feel " sorry" for him I will make sure that they understand that all of this was his choice. I never told the kids that I told him he could stay if he was willing to try to work it out but I will if I have to. ( probably would not do that). Don't know why he is upset becuase I bought the kids a playstation. probably some underlying guilt about taking the one that they had. Anyway, somewhere in this conversation he made some stumbling statement about them being his kids too and I said " you need to read those divorce papers a little more carefully"! Mean.
Only a little mean though because while he was in love and all excited about his new " life" HE signed his kids away. Lock, stock and barrell as my grandmother used to say. Didn't break a sweat when he was doing it either. A gun to my head and I would not have signed those papers. Glad he did because now that he is on his own I see him more and more for what he is and it not anything fit to raise my children.
Feel better now!!
Replies
It\'s really hard when the kids feel sorry for dad.
I found myself the other night making a derogatory (out loud) comment about my stbx and my daughter overheard... she is like coming to his defense adn I said I was sorry (she shouldn\'t have heard that), but that he is not the same man in each of our eyes.
I told her I understand he is her dad and always will be adn know she loves him and know he loves her... I told her her dad is not my dad (nor my husband at present) and things are different.
He actually told her he\'d be here more if I\'d let him, that he only stays away because of me -- he downplays Miss NJ to her... that\'s ok... I know the truth.
Even this journal entry (and the mentioning of him) is a waste of my time.
I understand your frustraaton.
I have told my kids the truth but tried really hard not to influence the way that they feel about him. It GALLS me to think that he walked out the door, left them crying on a bed. He does not feel \" sorry\" for them but they feel \" sorry\" for him. He says that they just have \" big hearts\". Got them from ME!!
As a father I don\'t understand where his head is at...well maybe I do (ITB)...lol