Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I find myself laying in my bed at night before I go to sleep and thinking of my ex.you know the one who dumped me for this girl a lot less everything than me. But I'm not sure why, I can't decide if i miss him being my boyfriend or my friend or both.I can't quite figure out why I care either. Or why I want to forgive him but at the same time beat the living shit out of him.It just amazes me that we can't even be strangers, we are more like enemies. I'd rather be a stranger to him. I'd like to fall in love with him over again... But at the same time i don't think it could happenSo I got really drunk and high over the weekend and I called him. He answered, he asked who it was and stupid me "you don't want to know..." *click*...Yeah so It's pretty much helpless trying to talk to him. He's being so childish.I can't help but stare at him and think about everything we had..It's making me sick...I want to just grab him and kiss him and tell him that I would take a bullet for him, and that i miss him, and that i miss everything we once had. It was so amazing when we were happy how can he just forget? how can he NOT think of me? How can he NOT miss me?I think I still love him... which is wrong... I have a boyfriend...Ugh!
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