Things have been weird latelyWell I've been with this new guy in my life for not long at all but it feels like eternity. i dont know what it is about him but it makes me feel like im in the clouds. ive really never felt that way, like completely care free. but things are going down hill alreadyWell last night i told the rents that i was going to the beach and chilling there. i didnt tell them i was going to the beach with my friend daniel to smoke some pot though. which they never found out. but anyways i got pretty much stoned as hell went to the store got some munchies and shit and went home. i got home yelled up to the rents that i was home and went to my room started eating my shit ha and minding my own business. well i cant give outgoing calls to people on my phone right now but they can call me. i told my boyfriend id call him when i got home so i got the house phone to call him to tell him to call my cell phone.but before i can even do that my stumbling step father grabs the phone and tells me if i ever touch the house phone again he'll kill me. which is dumb because ive been doing it for awhile and if he cared before he would of told me while he was sobor. so that was the first big deal. then my parents are like "mel come up here realy quick" so i walk up there and my dad goes "your daughter told me she didnt want fucking nothing for chrisitmas... she told me today that if she didnt get the car she wanted then she didnt want fucking nothing" which is un true so im like laughing and i said "your a fucking liar.. i said that i really didnt want anything because the stuff i wanted was really expensive" and so he decided to go after me push me down and strangle me. i easily pushed him off me.so i went down stairs and he kept ranting and raving and me being a dumbass said "if you werent such an alcohlic we wouldnt have to deal with this bullshit" and he got pissed and i was like "what cant take the truth?" and so he decided to choke me some more.then he threw me in my room and my head hit the fucking hurricane proof walls. beings we're in florida. and he went back upstairs and my paretns started argueing. i was still pretty high at this point.. i couldnt hear what they were saying all i could hear was noise and my mind racing with thoughts... so i stopped thinking and put on my shoes got my phone and snuck out the front door. in my neighborhood there are aligators.. they wonder around whenever and mostly at night so i was kind of scared about that a tad. but then i heard my dads car start up so i ran as fast as i could and didnt stop for awhile. then i finally darted into some bushes and immeditaly collapsed there. i could hear my heart beating practically out of my chest and i kept looking around thinking someone or SOMETHING would find me.i tryed to get ahold of my boyfriend to reassure me but i texted 5 diff people to tell him to call me asap because it was an emergency but no one did. then finally i guess my mom was out looking for me and my friend jefferson called. i told him to come get me and he drove me to the store to get something to drink.I finally got home and my mom wasnt mad at all.I left mostly because i cant take emotions like that very good.im on 3 different medications to keep me from getting overly emotional.i had to leave or i was going to go crazybut thats my highlight of the nightbut that night i got home and my emotions overtook me when i was talking to my boyfriend.i cut myself last night and told him all that went on.he wanted so bad to come down and beat my dads ass. but he couldnt because im in florida right now and hes in ohio and i dont get back to ohio till the end of the monthi told him last night i think it was best if me and him werent together right now because im a selfish little bitchi mean i feel like i treat him like straight shit and i said last night "do i cause u pain" he said "no" then later on in the conversation he said "your not the only thing that causes me pain" and i laughed and said so i really do cause pain? and i didnt let him say a word and i hung up the phone. he tried to call this morning i think but i wouldnt of answered it anyways.i just want to get my life together... its still not yet.. and i thought it was...urg!!! i wanna be fucking happy again...thanks for reading on.. i know this was long
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If you need to talk about any of this sometime with somebody who\'s had a few similiar experiences, add me.
wow, i think you should talk to your mom in private about your step dad, she should really know what\'s going on with you two. I hope you feel better soon!
You should talk to your mom and your boyfriend. If he really cares, which he seems like he does if he was willing to come to Flordia, he will be able to help. Even if it\'s just to be there and listen.
I\'m sorry all this has been happening. I agree with emilline, you really should talk to your mother or someone about your stepfather. The way he acted is not acceptable no matter what and you shouldn\'t have to put up with that. My father did that once but he wasn\'t drunk, he was on medication and I ran away. About your boyfriend, I\'m not sure. You may be right. That\'s why I\'m not in a relationship. Sometimes I think it\'s easier to work things out on your own without the pressure of a relationship but you know the situation best. Depending on the guy, he might want and be able to help you out with things. What have you been doing to get your life together? I tend to just try to move on like nothing happened and I don\'t recommend that. I hope things work out and message me if you ever want someone to talk to.
I know what you are going through. The same crap happened to me when I lived at home, before my dad got his head screwed on straight. But we didn\'t have alligators, we had black bears and wolves. I used to run deep into the corn fields, no one could find me because the corn stalks wereat least 8 feet tall. I know how hard it is to hang in there. You don\'t need that abuse from your step dad. Call the police if he ever does that shit again. I called the police on my dad when I was a teen, they came and took me away to some place safe, a big house where abused women went to be protected from those asses that abused them, and their location was kept secret. You do not deserve to be choked or thrown against the wall. And your mom shouldn\'t put up with him doing that to you, either. If anyone did that to my daughter I would hit them in the head with a frying pan. I don\'t care how well I knew them, they\'d still get it.
damn...that sounds like a hectic household :(