Things haven't seemed to be much better. I'm on the verge of taking a gun and taking my life. Seriously. I'm almost positive I'll never get the man i love back. I'm pretty sure I treated him like straight shit when he did nothing but love me and only me... and care for me through good and bad times. i look up to him for being so strong and so loyal. i love him. i miss him. i wish he knew how sorry i was and i wish he knew that im trying to get betteri went to a party last night and drank my troubles away. Everyone tells me im going down the wrong path but i dont reall fucking care anymore. i just dont fucking care.im sick and tired of not having him in my life. im sick and tired of me being an angry senseless person. im so sick of all this.i still hope he thinks im beautiful. i miss him so much....