I am soooo stressing out i want to cry! I am housesitting trying to make some extra money because of finances which finances are a different stressful story. But I am house sitting and it is snowing here. which was ok earlier this week but then the strom that came in last night was bad and I can't get out of the driveway and I have no control of it and have so much anxiaty because I am suppose to housesit for another family right after christmas and I had to meet with them today and had to walk in the snow and took me an hour each way which would normally be ok but the snow I was walking in was up to my knees and I am nervous the snow won't go away and I need to go back and forth between houses to take care of animals and the house I'm at now has a pool that I need to make sure doesn't freeze over and break because it did last year that's why they have me over. What really sucks is I went to my house yesterday and there is a leak in my garage which could be a broken pipe aww! I am trying my best to figure that one out but I am not very good at the phone calls and who to call and explaining the situation and then recieving the info they tell me. Does that make since? I just feel inadiquite sp? and I really hope it won't cost very much to fix because I barely have enough money to pay my mortgage and other bills. I even had to stop counciling and nutrition apts and my thurs. support groups. I have been forced to do recovery on my own and right now it is really extra hard to stay in recovery! I pray every day and daily trying to give this all up to God and trust in him. Being in this house I am house sitting in there are trigger foods everywhere and I haven't told anyone not even honestly with myself but I have been binging at night I is so confusing because it is so different from what my usual ED has been because I haven't been binging and purging so I don't know if its even ED behavior because it's not a full binge and I don't purge after like before but my head sucks i feel so guilty and so bad about myself and my meal plan is all screwed up I havent been eating 3 meals it's more like two or one. does this make any since to anyone because right now I am just really confused and any idea's on how I can get back on track and not have the trigger foods be so obsessive
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Big hugs to you! Hang in there. This, too, shall pass. xoxo
I hope next time you housesit in December you come up with a better arrangement. We\'re gone and got a housesitter, but paid someone else to plow, etc. That\'s not fair to you at all! Sorry about the trigger foods, I really don\'t know anything about that cuz I never really had the good food bad food thing. Maybe someone else can give you advice, but like Shari said, this too shall pass. xoxo
God Bless you and hang on. Pray for strength. I have faith in you!
Suzie, Where\'s your plan to keep you safe when times are difficult and decisions are even harder. You know what your safe foods are, start to do a meal plan and be as inventive with mix and match as you can, by keeping to a plan this will keep you stable until you feel more confident again. Its a big responsibility looking after someone elses house, and not helped by the snowy weather, just do your best thats all you can ever do and stop stressing, with love Fane x