V day is sucking,  You never know how you will react to different situations till they are thrust upon you.  there are going to be so many 1sts for me now that she is gone, and i constantly try to remind myself that this is not the end, that there is more to my life.  Today, I such much wanted to hear someone say  Randy, I Love you,  its not too late and there is next year   at least i hope there is next year HA!