More travesty, today my son edured a very grueling and uncalled for scrutinization from his mothers mother. I came home from work at 7:30 pm expecting to go to my stbx inlaws to pick up my son, only to find him setting in the front room. Turns out his mother brought him by the house, by his request after arguing with her and her mother for most of the afternoon. I won't bore you all with the details but by all means listen when I say " no one should ever beliitle a childs parent, irregardless of the situation at hand" especially a teenager. My son begged me not to send him to his mothers this weekend, and i did. I have never felt so worthless. He has never done anything but support his mother and I from the day she filed till now. Her mother was a very good mother-in-law until the past 2 days, she has hurt my son, she has made him feel unwanted and i curse her for doing so. I realize she is simply protecting her child just as I feel I must do now more than ever. i hope in someway this can help explain my previous journal entry, my son is very reserved when dealing with this situation but during the past cpl days his emotions have been extremely unpredictable he goes from happy to sad to mad in mere seconds. This is his first Xmas as a broken homed child and i cant help but blame myself for not protecting him from this ordeal, so if you have kids give them a hug and let them know both their parents love them, no matter how much resentment you are carrying inside. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all the thoughts, hugs and prayers. After rereading my journal entries i can see how you must have perceived my situation, and i apologize for scaring or upsetting any or all of you, things had gotten the best of me, i was spiraling downward out of control and could not pull myself out,,Thanks to my friends here at DS i now am explaining myself instead of chastizing my life. I hope this helps some of you understand a little of what has happened, if not ask me and ill try to make things more clear. God Bless you each and everyone
Replies
I\'m very sorry to hear that your son had to go through this. Don\'t blame yourself though. Sometimes we do things and think it\'s for the best. Be there for your son and make sure he realized how much you love him. If anyone should be ashame of themselves is your MIL. She should know better than to treat your son the way she did...regardless of the fact that she was trying to protect her daugher. This is HER grandson. You can\'t change what happened now, just make sure you continue to be there for your son and help him get through this. My mom remarried when I was very young....the one thing I\'ll NEVER forget is how she always put her husband before me. I felt so unloved and to this day can\'t seem to get passed how I was treated. Just be there for him...he will appreciate you for it. Hang in there and know that we are all praying for you.
It\'s so unfair and so sad that the children so often suffer when these things happen. But it is not your fault or your doing ..don\'t ever blame yourself for the cruelty of others, just be there to comfort your son when he turns to you for that comfort. He will remember that you were his place to run for safety and peace when all seemed so bad. He obviously loves and trusts you very much. He is dealing with this the best he can...as you are. Hold tight to each other through this roller coaster ride of ups and downs...you need each other more than ever now. Be careful to hold your tongue in his presence about opinions on other family members, it would just tear him apart more down the road. He will respect you and how you handled things if you do not join in with others and put others down. Let the adults deal with the adults out of his eyesight. When you are with him, you must be the hug that holds his heart . Tell him you are sorry he was hurt, it was unfair that he was, but don\'t put down grandma...he may not like what people are doing, but he loves them and will feel a loyalty to ALL those he loves even if he doesn\'t agree with everything they do. He may even agree with what is said in a negative way at the time it is said. But believe me...it will stick in his mind and cause him to feel responsible for any discord, and he will blame himself for having told you. He will also end up pulling away from anyone that does that, and withdraw further into his shell of protection he has made. You don\'t want him to hold resentment when all is said and done. you want him to find a safe place to go in his DAD.Don\'t blame yourself for what others do, but don\'t become bitter and do the blame thing either. You must be non judgemental and the quiet voice of reason and maturity in your son\'s eyes.