came home to a note on the table from the stbx asking for $ for x-mas etc. should i give her money??? friends family attorney daughter in law and even her own son say no, so why do i feel so compelled to fork over the loot. I have a notion of just telling her to ask one of her numerous admirers, she left this marriage with at least 4 grand in september and since i have paid the bills her cell phone and given her over $600, now I'm not a budget genius but that figures to about$1150 per month for a person that has no expenses, what gives. the last thing i want to do is pay for her boytoys xmas gifts
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it is so hard seeing truth...we want to run from what is lying in front of us, because facing it hurts too much. I have tried to run from what I have had to face also...I have closed my eyes because the sight of the truth hurts my eyes to view. I think we can be beaten down repeatedly and when love is involved we come back to be beaten down sometimes just because it is contact...maybe negative contact, but contact just the same. And saying goodbye is so difficult. We want to believe what we were told, what we had...was real...maybe it is still real, just momentarily hidden from view??? But we must face the truth before us sooner or later...if we allow ourselves to be beaten repeatedly and not face what is before us...we abuse OURSELVES. It is important to see our self worth...to care more about ourselves than these spouses may have...if we don\'t see we are wonderful...how can we expect anyone in the future to see it? And we must always remind ourselves that people can only hurt us \"if\" we allow it and welcome it.
Honey, I know that you feel the need to give her the money...but I think that\'s the part of you who wants to take care of someone. I would NOT give her the money. She truly is taking advantage of a wonderful person. She has no right to do that. I know that you\'ll do what your heart tells you to do. Take care my dear friend, Cheryl
PS - You need to add some pics....
I\'ve been paying like 2330 a month and probably won\'t have to pay more than 2000, maybe even 1800 or less. Last year I gave her a check for 700 for the family, this year she had me buy Xbox 360 for my son, so I didn\'t give any extra.
I read something when this first happened, someone was talking about how he had to pay this, and had to pay that, and when it was all said and done he realized it was Worth Every Penny.
So far it\'s cost a lot, but once the judge rules on the final decree, I hope it\'ll be all worth it, every penny.
It is very hard to decide what to do, but instead of giving her money you could buy the gifts. You have to go with your instincts, but this does not sound like a great situation for her to put you in....