I left my husband in 1990. 3 days after I left, he had one of my friends in our bed. I found out, because one of our daughters stayed with him and told me, and because (after 16 years together, never having received flowers from the man) I got a receipt for a dozen red roses he sent to her in the mail because he used our joint credit card. He had divorce papers drawn up, but never filed them. He applied for food stamps, heating assistance, and welfare, using both the child who stayed with him and the one that came with me, and my name, so that I could not get food stamps, heating assistance, or welfare. I was broke, hungry, and out on my own (but better off than I had been with him).Over the next 2 years, before I could get the divorce pushed through, he went through other women like tissues. He drank an ocean of alcohol, and both of my daughters came to live with me. Even though my life was very hard, building from less than nothing with purposely ruined credit and debts I could not imagine, it was better than still living with him.He wanted back what he had lost. It didn't have to be his family, but he wanted the family life. It didn't matter who the family members were, he just wanted the "wife and 2 kids" that he had. His first live in had 2 kids whose names were the same as ours! The woman he finally married he met over the internet, shipped her, and her two kids, in from PA, and married her within a few months.His new wife is blind (insert joke here), and the two kids, now 15 and 12, are challenged. If she left him, not that she would, he would import another. It isn't the specific woman that is important to him, but the lifestyle. My two children are both struggling with adult life, and have passed 30. The older one cannot make a serious commitment to any one person or to monogamy, and the younger one has 5 children with different fathers. 3 of those children do not live with her.I, on the other hand, absolutely hated the "married with children" lifestyle, and will never get married again. My children have grown, but I have adopted one of my grandchildren, which is a great joy and a great challenge. She is 8 and has emotional problems (no big suprise there).I have only had 2 other relationships since my divorce, one lasting 2 years and one lasting 4 1/2 years. Both of the men reminded me, in one way or another, of my relationship with my ex, which was not a good thing. Both relationships lasted longer than they should have, well past their expiration date, because I find it extremely difficult to break off a relationship, even after I know it should end.All three of the men I've been involved with cheated.My older daughter has told me that she is a polyamourous bisexual. My younger daughter is trying to make it work with her current sperm donor, trying to establish the "married with children" lifestyle.Good luck to both of them!