In 2002 my brother killed himself after more than a decade of mental illness. He had stopped taking his medication, which caused him to not only go manic, but become abusive and cruel. I had stopped seeing him, because it was just too difficult to deal with him, and did not invite him to a 4th of July party, primarily because of his bad behavior during the preceeding months, and he took his life on July 8th. Always felt guilty about it, as if it was my fault, and still find it hard to deal with that guilt, and the fact that he died mad at me.9 months after his death, my father died (after years of decline), and he also died mad at me. Now, my mother, who has always been difficult for me to deal with, is declining. She lives in RI and I live in ME, so I don't see her too often. However, I do talk to her on the phone quite often. My mother has OCD. As you can imagine, it was difficult to live with her, especially as a child. Also, when she is upset with you, whether the slight was real or imagined, she throws things, slams things, and screams alot, but will not tell you what she is angry about. She does, however, tell everyone else.I have a pact with my older brother, who lives with me, that we tell each other what her problem is whenever she acts like this, in hopes that we will be able to resolve the situation with the information provided to each other. It usually works, although we usually have to buy her some kind of useless present in order to calm the waters, so to speak.It is hard to visit her. I live in ME and she lives in RI, so it doesn't come up much, however, my grandson lives in RI as well, and I try to visit him nearly every month. After my friend moved to MA I find myself with no where else to stay when I visit RI, and the trip is too hard to do without spending the night.When I talk to her on the phone, she is always wanting me to come stay, however, when I do, she drives me crazy. Then, as soon as I leave, she checks her entire house to find something that I either left behind or moved, so that she will have something to complain to me about.