Ok so I hate this crappy disease.  I hate how it has changed my life so much.  It's just stupid that I can't work a full day and then go out for dinner and a couple of drinks with my husband.  Stupid that If I do this I am bed bound for two days.  I feel quilty when I see my hubby cleaning the house because I wasn't able to do it.  He doesn't mind, but I feel so useless.  Sometime just to make my self more depressed, I think about they way is used to be.  I was one of those supermoms.  I made my own jams and jellies, vacuumed and mopped my floors every day, made all the beds every day.  Made my own pickles, canned peaches, pears, and made my own salsa and spaghetti sauce.  I volunteered at my kids school.  Drove the kids to basketball and soccer, and worked a full time job too.  Just thinking about it now makes me want to get back into bed, where I have been for 9 of the last 14 days.   I keep saying that this is stupid when it hurts to walk to the bathroom.  Stupid when it hurts to sit up to eat.  Stupid that our first anniversary is Sunday the 10th and I can bet you that I will feel like crap, but will force myself to do whatever my hubby wants to do, and will do it joyfully with a smile on my face because it is worth it to see my hubby happy.  Stupid that I get so sore when I help out a friend with her business, and make a little extra money on the side.  Stupid that I have to have my hubby help me take a shower because it hurts to much to raise my arms to wash my hair.   I HATE THIS STUPID DISEASE!!!!!!