Well an update on today, had some lovely cards and flowers this morning ,I did go with Hubby to the crash site, we laid some flowers I was Ok , just couldnt believe how far away from home he was on that night!. Got home to more flowers and cards then Interflora knocked with the most gorgeous flower arrangement  , it was from Matt's friends , Ive only seen a couple since Matt died , we were both very touched by this and up till then I had been holding it together, well since then I've hardly stopped crying. Still can't believe a year has passed it's still so painful and vivid.