Im feeling really bad again............i was out at my friends daughters 21st birthday party and all went well there but afterwards i went on to a club with a friend and then didnt get home until 3ish.  To an ordinary person it would have been a fully successful nite but to me it has induced a day of feeling shit and panicky.  I know that i was ok and didnt offend anyone or do anything wrong but i still cant shake the feeling that i did.  I can remember everything about the nite so i know catagoricaly that i was fine but i feel guilty about being out to that time and feel that i let myself down and my partner down.  I have a pathological fear of doing something that could jepordise my relationship especially now that mick and i have our daughter to consider, i think it stems from the fact that in a previous relationship i did end up cheating on him because he treated me terribly and im sure that is part of my ongoing problem today.  Mick on the otherhand has been the best thing that has happened to me, so even if i speak to another guy when i am out i feel horrendous the next day, its almost as if i have cheated on him.  I am never alone when i am out, im always with friends, but i still cant draw comfort from the fact that they would tell me if they had any concerns at all about my behaviour especially since they all love mick.  Its a pretty bad fuckin day when even when u do nothing wrong you feel like a total shit......I hate my fuckin brain.