Im not feeling that great at the moment, i dont know whats causing it but its a bugger. I have felt all night as if i am only a fraction away from having an attack, i am trying to stop it but i think it might have been spured on by my fucking weird dreams again, oh for the time when i dont dream............I am trying to distract myself by watching tv, there is a david attenbourgh programme on about cold blooded creatures, hopefully this will work, but i think i will be going to bed soon.......please please let me sleep without incident this evening..............troi and dali are helping me out of this as well, they can be so cute and loving when needed, as i write troi is climbing all over me and purring like mad. i dont know what i would do without mick and my cats....................I sent away for a charity form for the antoney nolan trust for lukeamia. I thought all it takes is a blood sample to find out if you could help someone with this cancer, so its worthy right..well thats what i thought. Anyways the letter comes through the door today and mick sees it, he asks what it is and i tell him. He goes a little into one saying that he cant even get me to go on holiday because of my anxiety and here i am saying that i would go through a procedure for this charity. Now the chances of me ever being called apon are rare, but surely helping someone out is worth going through the hell it would put me in, if it were to help save a life...a little more important than a holiday.......i dont know what to think now....this has also raised my anxiety levels slightly............fuck, fuck fuckity fuck fuck.....................My friends mum goes for her last tests tomorrow at 5.30pm. Lets hope the cancer hasnt got into her bones, i dont know what could be done if it has.....again all fingers and toes crossed.....