Well hello journal, sorry for keeping you waiting but i have been unwell...sniff, a damned head cold has me in its grips and wont let go and all the cold remedies from work are totally useless, typical!!!!  To make matters worse i nearly had a panic attack last night!!! shock, horror. mick and i were cleaning out the fish tank, an arduous task i might add, and i could feel it coming over me (said the actress to the bishop). But i tried to keep focus on what i was doing and i dared it to rear its ugly little head, thankfully it subsided. I have noticed though that when i have disturbed sleep then my anxiety can escalate???? i will need to keep an eye on this to see if it is connected, if so then i shall become rip van winkle and all will be solved hurrah!!!....if only. My doc gave me some more diazepam so that will definatley help me sleep tonight, but i only normally use it in an emergency, so this lot of 21 should last a very long time.... The stopping smoking has been hard as well, i would like to announce that it has now been about ten weeks and i havent lapsed once, yeah me!!  i must admit noone is more surprised than me for i have the will power of a pimp in a brothel, but this must mean that things are looking up, so its on with the eating of fruit ( ive put on about 5 pounds..eek), and getting some exercise...sigh. I did hear once though that if your heart rate rises in you sleep then you burn off then same calories as you would do if you were actually doing the exercise...wishfull thinking??? ill give it a go anyway and there may be hope for us lazy beggars...fingers crossed TTFN diary and i will hope to speak to you again tomorrow, you really must say more the next time though....lol