Well the year didnt start well..had an arguement with my man on hogmany and we wernt speaking to each other when midnight came.....fecking typical....my mood has been a strange one of late in the way that i dont quite know how i feel, a bit on the cranky side but also a little depressed. Also i can feel quite unattatched to my environment to the point of i dont know which way to go or what to do with myself, (no dusty springfield jokes). Should i stay as i am or should i try to change more??????? i am a person that hates change so ireally should try to push the boundries but its scary as hell. Mick has just booked us a trip to london in august for five days and i just hope that i can get a hold of myself so that i dont have major panic attacks before, during and after the trips...this time though he knows all about it so maybe that will help, or maybe it will just piss him off more....who knows.........Where is the gusto for taking life by the balls and running with it????? i want to know where to get some...lol. Maybe its just the winter blues that are getting me down, normally i dont mind winter but sometimes i just want to roll up into a secure little bubble and stay away from the world for a while.   Some reletives are meant to be comming up from england tomorrow and we have all to go and see them, but this will only happen if the snow stops falling....i have spent all winter looking forward to the snow and now it comes when my uncle, who i havnt seen in ages is comming up, typical sods law at it again...........well ttfn dear diary and i hope to have some positive news next time.