Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I am not sure what I am writing, I am just writing. Trying to get some Idea of what is all needing fixed. I have never sat down and wrote everything down. Here goes. ME...Morbidly obese 450 pounds       PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome)       On the verge of Diabetes       Constantly worried about how to make things better       Still having ciggarette cravings after almost 75 days       Want to make a difference in peoples lives. I guess I always want to fix things that I can't. If someone is sad, I want to make them happy, if they are hurting, I want them to be painfree. I wish I could give things away to make someone live a better life, even though I do not have it. I know that I cant, but wish I could. I know this sounds stupid, but this is the way I am. Knowing that I am staying home to help my husband, even though it is stressful, has given me some worth about myself.  Husband.......Morbidly obese 600 pounds      Diabetes      High Blood pressure      Poor circulation      High Carbon Dioxide levels      Kidneys do not work properly      Weak muscles from being in bed       Weak Lungs- reason for high co2 levels       Leg ulcer- still healing after 7 years       retaining water, legs are full of water       High potassium levels       Low blood count       dehydration, he keeps getting dehydrated even though he has water all over his body.       I think that is about it. Not sure. Enough to make one a little nervous. From the conditions above, these are the things that have been done to the hubby to make him better.        Trach, in order to attach ventalator and get him breathing better       Leg dressing, to be changed 2 times a day to prevent infection       Ventalator, to remove some of the co2 from his lungs, and for his sleep apnea       Cathater, to record his urine output to keep him from dehydrating       Insulin shots       Walker, to help him get stronger       Hospital bed, to keep his head elevated so he can breath       Wheelchair, On the way, to keep from having to call the squad for his doctors appointments.       Diabetic diet, to control his diabetes. There, I don't feel better, but at least I can come back and look at it from time to time, to know if things are getting any better or worse.