I can actually write in my journal today. Yesterday was not a good day. I finally talked my husband into calling the ems to take him to the hospital to have his trach changed. I called the hospital to make sure someone there could change it. They sounded like I asked them a stupid question. Of course they can change a trach. So I called the squad. They came and got him and took him to the hospital. After sitting in the er for about an hour. (needless we live in a really small town, so they were not busy.) The doctor comes in and without even looking at my husband says that he cannot change his trach. I am normally a calm person, but yesterday, I just lost it on tne doctor. He had walked by the room many times and said nothing. I tald him that I called ahead to make sure that someone could change it and that they said it would be no problem. I looked at him and said that I wasted a trip to the er for no good reason, now I will have  a squad bill to pay plus an er bill to pay for nothing. All he could do was walk out of the room and send a nurse in to tell me that I had to find a pulmonologist to change it. I could not help it I just started crying (not the soft tears falling down your face crying, but the sobbing everyone can hear crying.) They tried to calm me down, but it did not help. He came back in and tried to talk, to me, but I just kept crying and sobbing. I told him Whatever and to let me and hubby go home. Today is a better day. We still don't have his trach changed, but we are not talking about it to each other. I made him an appointment on Wednesday with a pulmonologist, somehow I will get him there.  Hopefully it goes well that day, but I am going to be prepared for a bad day that day too. I was not prepared for a bad day yesterday, but I will be on Wednesday. Thought for the day........Even though the sun is shining, the wind could be blowing hard.